Lets get real for a moment, motherhood is the best thing that has ever happened to me but there are times that I want to hide. Tantrums are one of those moments. Each month a group of moms are going to feature a topic and you can link through the blogs to read each post. Some might have tips, some might just have relatable stories, either way we wanted this to be a space that you could come relate to. Now back to the tantrums.
If you are looking for advice on how to deal with tantrums I can tell you right now to stop reading- this isn’t the post for you but if you are looking to feel like you aren’t alone when dealing with them than continue on. I have read books, talked to other parents and I have even done a phone call with a professional and the advice given from all only works part of the time.
- Give options
- Explain why things are being done a certain way
- Give warnings
- Don’t raise your voice
- Get down on their level so you aren’t towering over them
- Stay standing above them so they knows you are the one that makes the final decision
- Follow through with punishments
- Understand they need their own space & time frame
- Time outs
- Find a distraction
Now obviously I know these options aren’t always going to work and it depends on the situation but I can tell you right now, sometimes a toddler can’t be reasoned with period.
I hate to admit this but I am hoping one of you out there can relate- I turn into the screaming mother and honestly sometimes I think she needs it. Now I don’t think a child needs someone to yell at them but there are times that the tantrum is just spinning out of control, its too late for me to remedy the situation- I didn’t catch it in time. So no matter what I do it just keeps escalating. Now this is what I mean by her needing to be yelled at- I have noticed that at these times that I do loose my tempter it snaps her and I back into reality. She is able to stop her tantrum and almost think clearly for a second. I also think she likes knowing that an apology from me will be coming soon as well.
Now my oldest- which all these tantrums are coming from since the other is just a baby- is very sensitive. I am a very sensitive person as well so luckily I know what needs to be done after a situation like the above has occurred. She needs to be shown and told that she is still loved. So once everything has calmed down, she isn’t screaming and crying anymore we hug it out. I tell her that I love her so much and that I am sorry that I yelled at her, that I lost my temper and that when she screams, cries and hits I don’t know what she wants and it can get very upsetting for me. I explain to her that if she is able to tell me what she wants and needs than I am able to help her. I don’t know if she understands what I mean but I do know that those snuggles and I love you’s are very important for the both of us after a tantrum has occurred. Honestly she most likely doesn’t understand me because lately the tantrums are more often than I’d like to admit.
I am hoping that this year will be the year that we can figure out what works best for us. We all have different situations so we need to figure out what works best for not only our families but for each child in that family. I am sure once Olivia and I figure out what works I will have to start all over again with Ryan. Isn’t parenthood a constant learning experience. I wouldn’t trade this in for the world but there are times that I just want to sit on a beach with a book and not stress about my little humans but like my dad always reminds me- that isn’t possible anymore- even when the kids have moved out of the house and have children of their own I will always have my kids to worry about.
I would love to hear what has worked for anyone in the past- or even what hasn’t. Tell me what funny advice people have given you. I hope you continue to come back each month and see what topic we discuss and if there is anything that you would like us to talk about please comment below or send us a message. Make sure to check the other posts linked below as well.